Sara

Sara sta alla finestra della cucina e si domanda cosa mangiare oggi. Cosa c'è nel frigo? E cosa invece nella dispensa?

Simon e Isaac le si strusciano addosso e le fanno le fusa. Pensano al mangiare anche loro. Apre le scatolette e gli da il cibo, e cambia l'acqua nella ciotola, così che sia fresca. Va al bagno e non chiude nemmeno la porta; tanto vive sola e i gatti la raggiungeranno tra poco. Come sempre sente la melodia lontana di una canzone. Non riesce a capire il genere o la canzone nello specifico anche perché è sempre diversa. Sente il ritmo o il beat e si immagina una canzone rock sempre diversa ma in realtà il vicino sta ascoltando tutte canzoni k-pop. 

Lei pensa: "molto probabilmente sto immaginando che sto sentendo il mio genere."

Infatti lei e il vicino non stanno affatto sentendo lo stesso tipo di musica, anzi quasi il genere opposto. Eppure, eccoli lì, ognuno a rilassarsi a casa propria; chi in bagno e chi, probabilmente, sul divano, a sentire la musica. Una musica diversa, e nessuno lo sapeva: lei era su un altro piano e sentiva solo una melodia, incomprensibile. Erano solo distanti metri? O proprio su due pianeti diversi, lontani anni luce? Così diversi e allo stesso tempo così simili. 

Dead butterfly

You fell in love without knowing it

and, just as unwittingly,

you fell out

The neglected butterflies in your gut

die quickly, unwillingly

There's no hope for the doomed

no future for the dead

no eternity for the love consumed

no safe heaven ahead

Rest in peace, my friend

Let go, you will see it

Let go, you shall be free

Let go of everything 

and, in tranquility 

just drift

The holy

Too many people around me

Truth is I want see them suffer

until the last breath

something I can’t deny

Something inside me

Something I really need

I can’t control 

I can’t deny it

Decide

Define

To work is to breathe

Stereotype

Genocide

Suicide

We killed all survivors 

Except the ones reading the Bibles 

I am not gonna lie

They deserved to die

I am the only one that care

I am the only one that need air

The only one

The holy one

Tune

Two waves in sync

souls that drift

together like a single one

until the damage is done

Bodies playing a symphony

just for us to hear

pleasures singing in harmony

and nothing to fear

And I send you the songs 

that I love the most

to show you 

what makes my heart 

move, beat and stop

But everything ceases

shattered in a million pieces

I can't pretend

when the melody 

comes to an end

And now every time

it feels a bloody crime

to gaze at another man straight in the eyes

while our flame dies silently in my delight

Mines in my mind

Everything, I lay

A cheap f**k in may

I can bear it

Give that bait 

I will show it

Come on, come on 

Come on, little b*tch

Just a witch

Just a switch 

Oooh, you're such a sweet

Such a little thing 

Or a pig?

Who cares, you're so sweet 

again

 

From the ashes 

of a person I once was

I am reborn

A new light in me

Sparks like a flame

feeble, soft

Is it just a dream?

Am I really free?

Maybe is just a new delusion 

a poorly illusion

Maybe I don't know

Is it a serpent or a doe?

A friend or a foe?

 

1:7

• Sono convinta che ciò che diamo, riceviamo. Se facciamo del bene, esso ci tornerà indietro in un'altra forma e se facciamo del male, anch'esso ritornerà indietro. Sono allo stesso modo convinta che, in ogni caso, cose spiacevoli capitino anche a chi non se le merita e che a volte la fortuna bacia lo stronzo.
• Una volta non ho dormito per 30 ore.
• Da piccola, quando me lo chiedevano, dicevo che da grande volevo fare il sicario. Avevo fatto indigestione degli episodi, su videocassette VHS, di "Lone Wolf and Cub".
• Ora programmo i post, così non escono nella data che vedete. Vi sto "scrivendo dal passato".
• Quando avevo circa sei anni, mi tagliai tutti i capelli con le forbici da cucito di mia nonna mentre lei, mio nonno e mia sorella dormivano.
• Credo che se le persone spendessero meno tempo ed energia a rendere gli altri miseri e più ad arricchire se stessi, a cercare di essere umani migliori e a fare del bene, vivremmo tutti molto meglio e più felici.
• Trovo che scrivere -qualunque cosa, in qualunque lingua- sia terapeutico.
• Ora che guardo solo film e serie tv in inglese, anche senza sottotitoli, mi devo concentrare di più quando scrivo in italiano.

Una di queste affermazioni è falsa.

Castle dumper

I should remember 

To hit the brakes 

I should remember to wait 

But not until it's too late

Just the right time 

for what is it at stake

My words are just worthless breath

You are beautiful facade but empty inside 

This is a trivial debate

A shack conceal by a tall fance

Fancy only outside 

You hide yourself in plain sight 

A dream of winter rain 

I will live in my pain 

All alone in solitude 

That what is come 

Only vodka, gin and rum

Singing in the dusk

A chocolate fountain

Is it too mundane?

Coffee and sorrows 

Today I don't want anything 

There still tomorrow 

I like it dark

I like the solitude 

I like the silence 

Let me alone in the dusk 

grain

All the things we could have done

The gifts we had, the moments gone 

Shimmering sand in the sun light

On what has been and what could might

And nothing is something no more

 and something is nothing once more

healing

When I was much younger -a child, in fact- I was very ill at the hospital. After the surgery, a doctor told me it was good I was in pain. It meant I will get better.
"Because there can be no healing without suffering" he said.

At times I'm sure he is right, but there are days I think it's just bullshit. The typical phrase people says when things are getting shittier. Like flight attendants that with a fake smile say "everything's gonna be alright" while the fucking plane is going down towards certain death for everyone on board.

From a medical point of view, I know it's true: an open wound hurts like hell, then a lot of physiological responses to the injury make the healing process a painful one, until only scar tissue remains.
But what about minds? What about chest wounds where there is no blood, the ones where your heart feels like dying and you have no more tears to shed? What about the pain of a broken dream? Is it still true? Must you suffer through healing, feel unbearable pain, in order to smile again?
Moreover, scars, of both the body and the soul, still ache years later and phantom pain always remains.

I fear the answer is that only sorrow is certain and we are all damaged goods.

Miserable

(BoJack Horseman)

I dance with them

"An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn't know why they choose him and he's usually too busy to wonder why."
(William Faulkner)

noxious talent

Toxic people make being miserable a form of art.
And it's the only thing they are good at.

Baby, please, don't cry

I love you, baby
I really do
That’s why it’s so hard for me
to tell you the truth

But I have to

There are things I regret
but you are none of them
Awful things that I have done
and from them I can’t run

It’s dark inside
is where my demons hide
I have a beast in disguise
and my happiness is its prize

I can’t stay with you
They keep coming after me
and will destroy you too

There are mistakes that I made
because of them now
There are rules that I have to break
but I don’t know how

If I want to stay with you
like I want to
I have to be better than this
now I am no good

There is no one to blame
and no games to be played
Lonely places far away
where I have to stay

It’s dark inside
is where my demons hide
I have a beast in disguise
and my happiness is its prize

It’s cold outside
is where are monsters in plain sight
I have a beast in disguise
and it wakes every time I lie

Baby, please, don’t cry
Baby, please, don’t cry
Baby, please, don’t cry

Sweet Sunday

Your limits

"Your effort to remain what you are is what limits you."

-The Puppet Master

To all who have committed suicide

"On Death" by John Keats

Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream,

And scenes of bliss pass as a phantom by?

The transient pleasures as a vision seem,

And yet we think the greatest pain's to die.

How strange it is that man on earth should roam,

And lead a life of woe, but not forsake

His rugged path; nor dare he view alone

His future doom which is but to awake. 

Walking in your shoes

When there's so little of the moon in the sky I feel like I could die

But I haven’t tears to cry

Baby, I’m dry

So brief our joys last 

where do I start? 

Please world, make it stop 

I’m giving up 

I’m falling apart 

Oh, I’m falling apart 

The time is going slow 

everything is passing by 

 an everlasting goodbye 

The time is running low 

that’s how it goes 

When the sky is empty like tonight Seems like there’s no light 

I could give up the ghost 

to ruin what matters most 

I want to disappear and stop holding the wheel 

Please World, make it stop 

just forget about me 

just let me go 

Oh, just let me go 

Like I never be 

never was 

and never will 

I want to run away and never come back 

I can’t hold this weight 

my heart is turning gray 

I want to run away and never turn back 

I can’t hold this weight 

My heart is fucking drain

My heart is fucking drain!

Caption A

2017 Louis CK's Show is on Netflix now!

Humans

Vi inventate false memorie per ricordarvi la vita che avreste voluto avere.